lexybonbons

Labels suck, one example is marriage, for me marriage means security, because if you truly love someone you don't need the legal crap, do you? Ceremony, yes, why not, paper work...doubtful. I think that marriage def is about the practical things as in the old times. Man owns woman, woman gains from it. Because I don't believe in The One, the person who completes you, the person that satisfies you til 100 per cent. Many might think, what does Lexy has to say about this, but trust me I am not blind, not stupid. I have experienced all kinds of relationships, maybe not primarily but secondarily. People are all after getting some kind off gain. There is nothing that is called selfishnessless (prlly wrong spelling). Whatever a person does, that person gains something or at least goes into a situation with intentions of some kind of a gain. That gain doens't have to be materialistic, a person can gain alot emotionally. I am not saying that gaining is bad, that being selfish is bad but as long as it happens under same conditions, as long as both parties win. This is the reality, this is what it is, everyone shoule understand this. The only love that I respect and believe in fully is motherly love, (this is through my own experience), a mother would do anything for its child and most children would do the same. This is the love where you do not go in and think of gaining. Sure a mother does gain satidfaction from giving birth to her own child, maybe I should not talk about that too much since I am not a mother myself but as we all know mothers do go far for their children and sacrifice alot and do crazy things that you would never ever imagine in your life. Anyhow this post has gotten far away from what I was going to write about.

Just look a paragraph above and think, do you have a person in your life, a friend who would drop everything for you? Just to be with you, support you? I do. We fight, we get annoyed with each other specially now because of the distance but we always survive. Now again, I do believe that friendships are not constant. People choose to be friends with someone when they can gain something. It can be whatever. It feels good, they call each other BFF's they love each other long time they, swear to be loyal. But it is seldom that this is the reality. You have to be careful, some emotions are so strong that they do feel eternal. When they actually are just the momentum.

I don't know what the future holds for us hun, but I do know that it feels damn right. No one has ever understood me to the point that you have, no one has ever seen my good sides and ignored my bad ones. I have had good friends, they seemed good or I made them to be good, but they always tried to put me down. Every moment they got. Using my mistakes, my bad choices, made me feel bad and tried to make themselves superior. Yes, i did get bothered, yes it did upset me. Why? Well not because I felt like a bad, worth nothing person, never. No. It made me feel bad because I trusted that person, people, took them in to my heart and they dissapointed me.

Why have you never ever critisiced me in a way that made me feel bad? Somehow, all of your critique, I took it to my heart, I analysed it, I thought about it, yes I felt annoyed for a moment (because it was spot on truth) BUT you delievered it in a good way. Man, you know the way you are towards me, you know how much I appreciate it, you know that whatever other people say does not mean a shit, because they don't know US. I am just so thankful. You got me through the hardest time in my adult life. A life without my wise mother by my side. Trust me, people padded my head and showed empathy but no one ever helped me in the way that you have. Shit hitting the fan was actually a good time, I had you boo!

Sorry this is so unstructered, just Lexy in the nutshell, all emotions coming out, few getting stuck on the "paper", creating a mess of words, but I know that it doesn't matter to you, you will understand.

Bottom line is, life and time will show what will happen to us, lets live in the moment and enjoy each other. You are the best that I had, I have no urge to get better, I am satisfied with you! I am hoping that we will last forever and that we are not two of those people who caught each other at the right time and place!

Love you chicken! (haha I had to!!!)

Oh and I know that you absolutely hate these kind of songs, but I love this one and also feel that our original ones have been cited in this blog one too many times. Must admit that I have not listened to all the lyrics in it but you def make the fire burning.